Burning out: Haunted by the pressure of time

In his musings about free will and time, writer Oliver Burkeman advises that we should give up trying to reach a phase of life that’s problem-free.

It would be nice if it were that simple. Especially if every single minute of the day feels as if haunted by deadlines and to-do lists.

Perhaps you are here because you tried to implement advice about burnout (there is a lot out there on the internet), such as simply allowing yourself to take a break. It is not unhelpful advice, but maybe it didn’t provide the change you were hoping for, or you are finding it hard to take the steps.

As I work to help people build their own sense of agency, I don’t subscribe to advice-giving in the form of work-life balance hygiene lists. Nor will I give you a diagnosis of ‘burnout’ or a label of stress.

I am interested in what sense you make of a diagnosis or label, your relationship to it, and what influence it has on you and your relationships.

If you come to me saying, ‘I think I have burnout’, then I would explore what is underneath the label for you and what sense you make of it.

Perhaps you and I will discover a pattern that has allowed burnout to recruit you and submerge you by asking curious questions such as:

• How do you think burnout came to be part of your life?

• Are there times when burnout is not in control?

• Who else do you know that have also been recruited by burnout?

It is also in the repeated invitations to slow down in a session, such as ‘can we pause and look at that’, which over time builds your own awareness and ability to slow down and reflect rather than be at the mercy of demands.

Essentially, putting words to thoughts and feelings and a felt sense of slowing down can be what gives you some sense of mastery, which you can take with you out in the world.