Counselling after Suicide Loss in Bendigo and online

Losing someone to suicide can leave people with grief, shock, guilt, confusion, anger and many unanswered questions. I offer suicide bereavement, grief, and trauma counselling in Bendigo and online for people navigating this type of loss—this includes vicarious trauma counselling. Please note that there is not one type of “suicide bereavement counselling”, as people’s experiences are not cut from the same cloth. While many experiences of suicide bereavement share common themes, every relationship and every loss or experience of trauma is different.

How can suicide bereavement affect health professionals and helping professionals?

Helping professionals are not immune to grief. Counsellors, psychologists, nurses, social workers, doctors, teachers, disability workers and other caring professionals can experience suicide bereavement in both their personal and professional lives.

Some people are grieving a family member, friend or colleague. Others may be grieving the loss of a client, patient or student. The emotional impact can include sadness, guilt, self-doubt, moral injury, ethical distress and questions about whether more could have been done.

Guilt is a frequent visitor in suicide bereavement, as we may wonder if we said something that upset the person, or if we should have noticed that they were not quite right.

Even if we held on to hope for the person and wanted them to live, there might be a sense of resignation or even consolation for those bereaved, as the person who suicided struggled to live, sometimes for years. But guilt and what-ifs can still visit, and we may suffer the ongoing hardship of regret, wishing things had gone differently or blaming ourselves for not doing enough to prevent our client, patient or loved one from suiciding.

Therapy can provide a confidential space to explore these experiences without judgment, and I am aware, as I am writing these words, that some of you might read this post and be bereaved by suicide and also have thoughts of suicide. Both are possible, and it is something I am familiar with as a counsellor working in this area.

Whether you were a colleague, friend or family member, the despair of losing someone to suicide can feel shattering and painful in many different ways.

It matters to be listened to with the perspective of "many different ways", because the context surrounding a suicide varies. Therapy should therefore be tailored to each person and their unique circumstances.

If you are a mental health professional, losing a family member to suicide is obviously different from losing a client to suicide. Following a suicide bereavement, you may find yourself becoming hypervigilant with your own clients or patients if they express suicidal thoughts. Both your own therapy and supervision may be helpful afterwards, pending your unique circumstances.

How do I know if I need to see a therapist if I lost someone to suicide?

Whether you were a family member, friend, colleague, teacher, doctor, nurse, social worker or another helping professional, suicide loss can affect you in profound ways.

Not everyone needs to see a therapist and receive counselling after suicide bereavement. If you find yourself wondering whether counselling might be helpful, it is often worth having an initial conversation with a therapist.

Suicide bereavement can be a lonely space. It is related to ambiguous grief, and some of the things you feel the need to talk about are perhaps not things you may feel comfortable speaking to family members, friends or colleagues about.

It can also be a shocking and overwhelming experience if you found the person.

Can suicide bereavement result in trauma?

For some people, suicide loss is experienced not only as grief but also as trauma. This may be particularly true if you found the person, witnessed the aftermath, attempted to help during a crisis, or were exposed to distressing details surrounding the death—this could also be related to vicarious trauma.

Symptoms can include nightmares, intrusive memories, sleep difficulties, heightened anxiety or a sense of emotional numbness. In these situations, support from a GP, counsellor or broader support team may be helpful.

If you are a GP yourself who has lost a patient or loved one to suicide, this can make it harder to process the pain and grief, as there can be many expectations about how you should cope as a helping professional. I also suggest mentoring and supervision in relation to suicide bereavement, as it can be helpful, albeit not a replacement for therapy.

When systems fail: mental health care, workplaces and suicide loss

You might experience moral injury if you are working in a system that is inadequately resourced to care for the vulnerable people you serve.

In some instances, health professionals may also take their own lives, and the person you have lost to suicide may be another doctor, social worker or first responder and a colleague of yours, which adds another layer of injustice to the grief and moral injury.

What support services are there for suicide bereavement Australia-wide?

You can contact StandBy for information or a one-off session. It is free and provided to anyone in Australia.

Remember, Lifeline is also for people bereaved by suicide and available 24/7.