Grief & Loss Counselling in Bendigo & online
The deep sorrow coming from the loss of a loved one or shock after a traumatic loss can, for some, feel like it grips you tightly and won’t let go. It can feel like being overwhelmed, as though nothing else exists except the pain and longing that envelop you. For others, it may feel like a persistent numbness or fear of another loss happening.
How counselling & longer-term therapy might help with painful grief and loss
The benefit of finding an emotional home for the painful grief and sorrow that follows a loss is not always given the space that it needs. Parts of our culture, our family systems and how we learned to cope earlier in life may also impact how we think we should deal with grief.
You may have arrived here due to a traumatic loss or because your grief is disenfranchised and not welcomed by others. Or you feel like you should not burden others with your pain—there are many ways to come to this space.
How narrative therapy sees grief
In narrative therapy, we see grief and loss as something to be invited in, and all the feelings related to a person and your relationship are welcome.
In narrative therapy, listening to the sorrow and pain is important and saying ‘hello again’ to what has been lost whether our relationship to the person was a loving one or a complicated—one and finding an emotional home for the grief is a crucial part of mourning, as it frees us up to live again.
The process of mourning, if given the time and attention it needs, can leave people with a deeper knowledge, or skill, if you will, that loss is part of life, and we can work through it and also sit with the ache that might still linger.
Types of grief & loss you might bring
The loss of a relationship through divorce or separation.
The loss of a person due to death.
The loss of physical ability or other functioning due to an accident or chronic illness.
The traumatic loss of a person, such as suicide or accident.
Anticipatory loss that is happening and is inevitable, such as a loved one who is being stolen by dementia.
The loss of a homeland due to migration, war or conflict.
Grief counselling is part of any therapeutic process
Often, grief counselling is seen as something counsellors specialise in and something you might do in isolation with a therapist. While the therapy I provide can be shorter term and more focused, it is my experience that with complicated grief and traumatic grief, we may often need to touch on something deeper than the exact incident that might have led you to therapy initially.
Touching on something deeper could look like having conversations about other areas of life and early experiences of neglect and abandonment. I am, of course, guided by what you want to talk about, and nothing is ever forced. Grief work, just like therapy for other life struggles, should be approached with sensitivity to trauma.